Jane, a dedicated vegetarian, recently contacted our editorial team to share a personal story that has been causing her significant distress.
Not so long time ago, Jane attended a friend’s barbecue—a casual gathering she had been looking forward to all week. She wrote, “I’m a vegetarian, and I was trying to avoid cross-contamination at the veggie platter.”
Jane was accustomed to navigating social events where meat was the centerpiece. She had no issue with others enjoying their steaks and burgers, but she always made a point to avoid any cross-contamination between meat and her plant-based dishes. At this particular barbecue, she had her eye on the veggie platter, carefully selecting her food to ensure it was free from any trace of meat.
As Jane stood near the grill, fixing her plate with fresh veggies and sides, she noticed a man she didn’t know standing uncomfortably close. She wrote, “Dave, a guy I didn’t know, was chowing down on a massive steak right next to me. I politely asked him to keep his steak away from my food.”
The juices from the steak were dripping perilously close to Jane’s food, and she couldn’t help but feel uneasy. Trying to keep things light and polite, she turned to Dave and asked, “Hey, would you mind keeping your steak a little further from my food? I’m just trying to avoid any cross-contamination.”
Jane expected a simple acknowledgment, maybe a quick apology as Dave shifted his plate away. Instead, Dave let out a loud, dismissive laugh. “I don’t think my steak can infect your veggies!” he exclaimed, a smirk forming on his face.
But what happened next caught Jane off guard. Rather than respecting her request, Dave deliberately moved his plate even closer to hers, hovering it over the veggie platter as if to taunt her.
Feeling uncomfortable, Jane decided to confide in her friend, the host of the barbecue. She hoped for some understanding, maybe even a word with Dave to smooth things over. But when she mentioned the situation, her friend merely shrugged. “That’s just Dave being Dave,” she said casually, as if that excused his behavior. “Don’t take it personally.”
Jane was taken aback by her friend’s indifference. It wasn’t just about a piece of steak—it was about feeling respected and welcome. But it seemed that to her friend, Dave’s antics were just part of the package, something everyone was expected to tolerate.
Later in the evening, Jane’s frustration turned to anger when she overheard Dave talking loudly with a group of other guests. He was bragging, almost gleefully, about how he had “trolled” the vegetarians at the party.
He recounted his interactions with Jane, laughing at how he had purposely ignored her request. What’s more, he mentioned making similar comments to other guests who didn’t eat meat, turning his behavior into a twisted joke.
As the evening wore on, Jane decided to quietly leave the barbecue. What was supposed to be a relaxing, enjoyable gathering had turned into a stressful experience. She couldn’t shake the feeling of being unwelcome, not just by Dave, but by the lack of concern from those who were supposed to be her friends.
As she walked away, she made a mental note to be more cautious about the company she kept at future events, ensuring that she surrounded herself with people who respected her choices—no matter how different they might be from their own.
Jane asks you to share your thoughts about her situation and how you would react.
