A couple returns from their honeymoon refusing to speak to each other.
The groom’s best friend takes him aside and asks what’s wrong.
“Well,” replies the man, “when we fin*sh*d maki*g |_0\/E on the f*rst n*g*t, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.”
“Oh, you shouldn’t worry about that too much,” says his friend.
I’m sure your wife will get over it soon enough. She can’t expect you to have been saving yourself all these years.”
“That’s not the problem, ” the groom says. “She gave me $20 change!”
2nd joke: Three Bulls and the Newcomer: A Tale of Cows and Courage
Three bulls heard via the grapevine that the rancher was going to bring another bull onto the ranch, and the prospect raised a discussion among them.
The first bull says, “Boys, we all know I’ve been here 5 years. Once we settled our differences, we agreed on which 100 of the cows would be mine.
Now, I don’t know where this newcomer is going to get HIS cows, but I ain’t’ givin’ him any of mine.”
The second bull says, “That pretty much says it for me, too. I’ve been here 3 years and have earned my right to the 50 cows we’ve agreed are mine.
I’ll fight ‘im till I run him off or kill ‘im, but I’M KEEPIN’ ALL MY COWS.”
The third bull says, “I’ve only been here a year, and so far you guys have only let me have 10 cows to “take care of”.
I may not be as big as you fellows yet, but I am young and virile, so I simply MUST keep all MY cows.”
And New Bull
They had just finished their big talk when an eighteen-wheeler pulls up in the middle of the pasture with only ONE ANIMAL IN IT: the biggest Son-of-Another-Bull these guys had ever seen!
At 4700 pounds, each step he took toward the ground strained the steel ramp to the breaking point.
The first bull says, “Ahem…You know, it’s actually been some time since I really felt I was doing all my cows justice, anyway.
I think I can spare a few for our new friend.”
The second bull says, “I’ll have plenty of cows to take care of if I just stay on the opposite end of the pasture from HIM.
I’m certainly not looking for an argument.”
They look over at their young friend, the third bull, and find him pawing the dirt, shaking his horns, and snorting up a storm.
The first bull says, “Son, let me give you some advice real quick.
Let him have some of your cows and live to tell about it.”
The third bull says, “Heck, he can have ALL my cows.
I’m just making sure he knows I’M a bull!”
